RESOURCES

By CHARNER REESE

Seventy beings came together on Zoom recently to participate in a Daylong skillfully led by Diane Powell and Ken Lenington, where we deepened our understanding and practice of the Dharma so beautifully explained in Shantideva’s poem, The Way of the Bodhisattva. The focus of this retreat was on diligence and meditation, two of the Six Paramitas.

Knowing that wholehearted practice of the paramitas will bring us to the “other shore,” I sensed among our virtual community a heightened desire to learn and practice together the teachings being presented that day.  

Particularly meaningful for me was the guided meditation on equalizing self and other, where Diane first read and explained some of the poem’s verses relating to this practice and then invited us to meditate, just as Shantideva did so many years ago: 

Strive at first to meditate

Upon the sameness of yourself and others.

In joy and sorrow all are equal.

Thus be guardian of all, as of yourself.

Diane instructed us to choose someone in the online community to gaze upon, guiding us with specific reflections to contemplate as we looked into the eyes of another being, and in doing so, as Shantideva said in verse, “embrace a sacred mystery:”

Those desiring speedily to be

A refuge for themselves and others

Should make this interchange of “I” and “other”

And thus embrace a sacred mystery.

Suffering has no possessor.

Therefore no distinction can be made in it.

Since pain is pain, it is to be dispelled.

What use is there in drawing boundaries?

And so, why not identify 

Another’s body, calling it my”I”?

And vice versa, why should it be hard

To think of this body as another’s?

So I chose the Sangha Sister in the Zoom square next to me. And as the guided reflections were stated one by one, I considered them as they related to her. One might think it would be difficult to do this virtually, but in fact that sacred truth of interbeing was experienced in those brief moments.

Once the guided meditation concluded, Diane asked us to do this meditation regularly, both in formal meditation and in daily life, because as with every practice to transform our minds, it is an ongoing process. And so the process continues. May all beings be happy!

A deep bow of gratitude to Ken and Diane for leading this retreat.

Charner Reese has been a member of FCM’s Tampa Sangha since 2011.

By NANCY NATILSON

Voting can be an act of compassion. Fred’s Dharma talk several weeks ago inspired me to reflect on ways I am engaging in compassionate action to ensure that I am always showing up with an open heart and aspiration to be of benefit.

We’ve been taught that compassion, “karuna” in Pali, is one of the four Buddhist Immeasurables that we practice to relieve the suffering of ourselves and others. Caring for one another and all life on our planet is the way we can express our compassion for living beings. I believe that we can manifest this caring by our participation in the upcoming election to find practical ways to bring healing and transformation to the suffering of our societal body.

We have to be careful these days that we don’t let our anger, apathy, frustration, and/or feelings of powerlessness stand in our way of exercising our right and responsibility to vote. In Florida, early voting opens on October 19, and absentee ballots can be requested up until October 24. Each state has an election website with up-to-date information.  Florida’s is:  https://dos.myflorida.com/elections/for-voters.

It’s easy to get carried away with the presidential race, but the elected positions up and down the ballot and the amendments all will have an impact on our lives and the lives of others.  Please educate yourself about the other races and issues before you vote, especially since the wording of amendments can sometimes be misleading. The League of Women Voters publishes a useful non-partisan website guide for amendments by state. For those in Florida, the website is:  https://www.lwvfl.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Printer-Friendly-2020-Amendments-LWVFL.pdf

I know many of you are doing what you can to ensure a fair election and are taking actions you deem appropriate to help create a better world. I am volunteering with some non-partisan groups to make sure that all people who want to vote and are eligible to vote are able to cast their ballots. If you are interested in learning more about the opportunity to be a non-partisan Moral Observer or Poll Defender (anywhere in the country), please visit the Compassionate Voter Campaign Organizing Guide at https://greenfaith.org/USCompassionateVoter or go to www.thefrontline.org  for details about the Poll Defender training, which has already begun.  If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at nnatilson@cs.com.

In closing, I offer you my vow to manifest as a compassionate presence in my actions of body, speech and mind and wish you the same liberation:

May we be free from anger, fear, and worry.

May we be of benefit to others on their healing and transformation journey.

May we fill our heart with compassion for ourself and others.

May we be open to receive others’ love and compassion.

May we vote out of compassion; and may we support others to do the same.

Nancy Natilson of Tampa joined FCM in 2005. She is a member of the Order of Interbeing and has served on FCM’s Board of Directors.  She has taught many mindfulness courses and enjoys mentoring new FCM members. 

By DOUG KALLMAN

Many of us have been participating in Fred’s teachings of “The Thirty-Seven Practices of Bodhisattvas,” a collection of verses of pith teachings of the aspirational path of letting go of self interest and dedicating our lives for the benefit of all beings. In addition to our daily practice and twice weekly Dharma talks, Fred offered a Saturday forum where we could learn from the questions of our Sangha classmates. I was requested to share a portion of this Q&A with Fred as it might be helpful for other practitioners. 

In short, I asked Fred what do you do when you spin out, when as I phrased it, “the Dharma isn’t working.” Fred gently walked me through a reexamination of that idea. Was it in fact that the Dharma wasn’t working, or that I wasn’t applying the teachings properly? 

He pointed out that the "self" was caught in wanting things to be a certain way and was irritated that it wasn’t going the way the self wanted. Like a petulant child, the self was having a good pout with a bit of foot stomping. I had lost mindfulness of seeing this clearly. 

During this exchange I learned several things.

First, it was good to be vulnerable and share the problems I was having. In my life I have struggled with an inflated sense of my skills, a lack of humility, that has kept me from publicly acknowledging my challenges. This has been a source of suffering. 

Second, on reflection, it is clear that if I had practiced patience and allowed the irritation to blow over, I would have suffered less. 

Last, I remembered again to trust the Dharma, our wise and loving teacher and the support of the FCM sangha.

Here is a transcript of our conversation from the Q&A:

Doug (who is a physician): I had an experience this week where the Dharma wasn’t working for me. It usually works for me. I usually find some tool, pull something out of the bag of tricks. This week I was working a lot. It was hectic. Then there were lots of add-ons, including a good friend of ours getting very sick and my wife wanting me to put her to the top of the list, ahead of all my other patients. And so I got done with a long day and then took on her case.

You know those little bits of straw that can fuel a large fire? There was lots of kindling in there this week. I managed not to get angry, but there was a lot of irritation. The Dharma wasn’t working for me this week. And then I was getting upset that the Dharma wasn’t working (Fred laughing). I was on about the 12tharrow. Enough of the second arrow. I was starting to fire at will.

Luckily the Dharma was working somewhat. I don’t think I did any harm to the world around me. So that was probably a very positive step as I reflect on it. No anger got out, but there were heaps of irritation inside. I tried breathing. I tried stopping for five minutes. But I was getting less and less effective. I spun out of control.

So my question is, what do you do then?

Fred: So you were getting irritated at the Dharma because it wasn’t working for you. Let’s go back. Since I’m a strong upholder of the Dharma, I would frame it differently. It wasn’t that the Dharma wasn’t working for you. I would say that Doug wasn’t working the Dharma.That’s always my "go to."

Your mindfulness lets you know that you’re feeling stressed, tired, weary. And all of a sudden, the things that earlier in the morning weren’t a problem, as the day goes on, become problematic. You notice you are irritated. Why are you irritated?

We have to see that we have done something very different. We have disempowered ourselves. We have become the victim. We forget that we could have said no to your wife. Why did you say yes?

Doug: Because a Bodhisattva would say yes.

Fred:  Yes. Because you weren’t dead yet. You had some capacity and you realized that you could help this person. Your wife was suffering because she was very concerned. 

It’s almost as if there is this drama going on. On the one hand, you’re a doctor, here to help people, respond to their suffering. And then all of a sudden there is this other voice. The voice of "self." He’s going …grahh, grahh, grahh, grahh, grahh, grahh (Doug laughing). Can you see him? You need to be able to see that that’s where the irritation is coming from.

Those moments are good. Those moments are a choice point. Am I living my life according to the Dharma? Am I living my life according to my Bodhisattvic vows? Or am I living my life according to this very constricted, narrow self, whose voice is, “What about me...What’s in it for me…Why do people always want more from me?" It’s narrow. It’s petty.

If one is able to see that it is an empty voice, the self is empty, then it is no big deal. Then you can just blow away the irritation the way you blow away something that is not real. Again, it’s good to have those moments. To get bent out of shape.

We don’t hold on to the past but often we can learn from our mistakes. We certainly want to be able to reflect on past events, so we can learn fearlessness. Please remember, the Dharma always works. But we often don’t work the Dharma.

Doug Kallman, a physician from Atlanta, GA, joined FCM in 2018. He began a daily meditation practice in 2015 in the Insight tradition. With the bare minimum of prerequisite experience, he jumped into the deep end of the Dharma pool with Fred and FCM on a weeklong Wisdom Path retreat at Southern Dharma in June 2018. After a few days, he was all in, taking transmission of the 5 Mindfulness Trainings at the end of the retreat. Since then, he has been drinking at FCM's fire hose of Dharma, gratefully participating in Intensives and retreats with the community.

By ROSY SHARMA SEDHAIN

Growing up in a family where anger was very prominent, I was fully aware of the harm that it can cause. As a child witnessing it, I knew how frightening it could be. Later in life I was frightened to see the same seeds of anger in me. 

Through a few years of meditation, Dharma study and practice, those seeds of anger had subsided to a great degree. I still experienced low-level irritation, frustration and sadness, and sometimes a little anger, too, but I felt they were normal and I had enough justification as to why they were okay for me. 

But, now, as I have been studying The Way of the Bodhisattva by Santideva, every verse in the Patience chapter feels like it’s talking to me. Patience is something that I clearly see I need to cultivate. Verse 48 from the Shantideva's Vigilant Introspection chapter tells us that when anger arises: Do not act! Be silent, do not speak! And like a log of wood be sure to stay. 

During the Patience Retreat I realized that, although I have been practicing to be like a log with no visible fire, the log was still hot inside and burning with irritation, sadness and frustration, which was fueled by wrong views. Through Fred’s teachings and reflection exercises, I realized that this log can be dangerous because slowly it will burn itself -- and the relationships around it -- whenever an explosive condition arises. 

I realized why it is so important to make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small. I got a chance to go to the source of my anger and irritation. When looking back at my past, I realized it was rising in me when I didn’t get what I wanted or when people did not behave as I wanted them to. 

So, ego / self-centeredness is the root cause of why anger arises in me. When it arises, this self-centeredness also makes me feel lonely and separate from everyone around me. It makes me feel like I need to protect myself. This “wrong view” makes me blind and keeps the fire of anger going. 

This might not look like a significant discovery because Fred has talked about it multiple times in his Dharma talks, and I thought I had “gotten it” a long time ago. But only when I put my own life’s past events and my behavior patterns under the microscope and replayed those moments were my findings significant for me. I saw how the anger dropped as soon as the words “I, Me, My” were dropped. The story is the same, but as soon as I dropped the Ego, anger was nowhere to be found, and only sadness remained.

Wow, is it that simple? After the retreat, I have been trying to implement this new awareness in my life. It does help to stop the log from burning inside. It is not easy, but possible. 

Rosy Sharma Sedhain joined FCM in 2017. This is her second year in the Dharma Transmission Program. She and Suzy Walker have been leading the Family and Teen Program. Rosy feels blessed to be part of the FCM sangha. 

A discussion with Marilyn Warlick, leader of FCM’s program on Death and Dying, touches on the topics of death and life and the no-separation between the two. 

When you attend a meeting of Death Café, are you attending a discussion about death, or about life? 

When you spend time talking to Marilyn Warlick, leader of FCM’s Death and Dying Program, about this subject, you’ll quickly learn that a discussion about death is really a discussion about how to live a life and that death is not separate from life.

By figuratively taking us by the collar and shaking us to remind us of death, Buddhism reminds us to really live in the present moment, fully and deeply and with all the love for others that we can muster.

Buddhism also brings us face-to-face with death to prepare us – to open us to accepting it as a universal aspect of the human experience, Marilyn tells us, bringing us out of the avoidance of the subject that leaves Westerners so tragically unprepared. It is with this mind at ease that we want to greet death as an experience of life.

And so, if you join a discussion at a Death Café, you’ll find nothing morbid there. The sharing is deep and full of life and the fruits of rich and wise practice. Real life issues are raised and heard with loving attention. When death is discussed, we remind ourselves to live fully in the present moment.

The meetings offer an opportunity to find stillness and stability in practice that is precious in a time that can overwhelm us, given the pandemic, earth calamity, racial injustice, and our and other governments and countries in turmoil. Marilyn reminds us there is peace in simply letting go and finding a place to rest. 

The words of Simon and Garfunkel’s landmark song come to mind: “When you’re weary, feeling small… Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down…”

As aspiring bodhisattvas, we are taught by Buddhism to help each other to learn to lay down preoccupation with life’s burdens and fears, which is really a preoccupation with the “self,” and to open to a mind of peace and ease. “I will lay me down” and be a bridge over troubled waters -- for others.

It’s about finding our “true home” in the midst of external turmoil. It comes back to mindfulness.

Marilyn recalled a passage by Thich Nhat Hanh in his book, At Home in the World. He was in Baltimore in 1966 when he learned that the Vietnamese government had revoked his passport and denied him re-entry to his homeland. His exile from his beloved country would last more than 40 years.

A now-homeless monk barely in his 40s, Thay wrote that he at that time still had not developed his practice to the point at which he had fully arrived at his "true home." He had been suffering from a recurring dream of being at his root temple in Vietnam and waking up to find himself in exile, and now it had happened. He took up residence in France because he could still travel in Europe on his expired passport.

All he could do during the first two difficult years was play with German and French children, connect with leaders of other religions to urge the end of the war in Vietnam, and do the inner work of practicing mindfulness to heal. 

When we lose everything, that’s when we find our true home, when we lose our fear of death, he wrote.

“It was thanks to this practice (of mindfulness) that I survived,” Thay wrote. “The practice brought me back to my true home in the here and now. Eventually, I stopped suffering and I was in my true home in the here and now. When I returned (to Vietnam, many years later), it was a joy. But when it was time to leave my native country again, I did not suffer. ‘I have arrived, I am home’ is the essence of my practice. Since finding my true home, I no longer suffer. It was precisely because I didn’t have a country of my own that I was able to find my true home. I was able to break through and find my true home.”

Balancing the mind, inhabiting the body and physical senses, being mindful, and spending at least two hours a week connecting with nature are important ways to deal with the effects of the use of digital technology, according to the recent workshop “Nourishing Wellbeing – Balance in the Digital World.”

Bryan Hindert, facilitator of the FCM workshop, led about 40 participants through a series of reflections and online discussions framed around the Four Nutriments (consumption of mental "edibles," sense impressions, volition/intention and consciousness) to assist in managing their use of digital media in a more intentional and mindful way. Digital media was defined to include computers, cell phones, TVs, and other modern electronic communications devices.

Here are some of the reflections and suggestions from the workshop:

• How often do you use digital devices and for what purpose? When?
• How do we feel when and after using these devices? Do we feel joyful and comfortable? Tired and empty?
• Do we use each device intentionally; that is, do we know why we’re using it? (Connect to family and friends? Sangha? Work?) Or do we stray off into other uses? (Entertainment? Procrastination? To avoid suffering?) Do we even know why we use this device? 
• Are we trying to get something from it that we can’t otherwise get, such as to connect? To rest? Does this desire come to fruition? Be attentive to what your motivation actually is, not what you would like it to be.
• Are you aware of what kind of thoughts you’re thinking when you are online? When you’re reading the news, are you thinking angry thoughts? Are you wanting to understand other people or to criticize them? 
• Are there other things we would like to be doing in our lives that technology keeps us from doing?
• What content am I consuming? Is it nourishing me or causing suffering? Does the content I’m consuming meet my intention of what I want to “feed” my mind?

Some of the content we "consume" is wholesome. Much is manipulated. Neither the content of electronic media nor our perception of it meets the Buddha’s definition of reality. We need to be very careful and we need boundaries to keep from getting sucked down the rabbit hole.

In casinos, there are no clocks, so people don’t realize it’s time to go. As soon as one YouTube video is done, the next one starts. “Likes” on Facebook keep our eyes on the screen. We get a hit of dopamine every time we see the little dot in a new email. The average person spends 11 hours a day on devices, of which four hours on phones – one quarter of one’s waking day. 

There is “digital burnout,” “digital overload” and “Zoom fatigue.” Blue light affects our sleep and our mood. We get physically tired and sit too much. This tech is not benign. It will have negative effects on us if we’re not careful. 

Suggestions for practice: 

• If we have addictive tendencies, we need to treat our addictive minds very carefully. Use intention and mindfulness to exercise restraint. Bryan tries to block out one day of digital detox each week.
  
• Nervous system arousal, mood and immune response are improved from spending only two hours a week engaged with nature, less than 20 minutes a day. This could be looking mindfully at trees, spending time in the yard or a park, exposing the body to the sights, sounds, smells and feel of the outdoors. It's important to come into our bodies and senses.
• Become aware that internal discomfort drives us outward and that the answer lies within, not online. The use of electronic devices to avoid facing suffering does not work.
• Consider using a gatha stating your intention when turning on electronic media.
• Experiment: One day, use digital devices the way you have habitually done. The next day, check your intention and watch your mind; notice that you should feel much more balanced.
• Neutral mind states become negative very easily. It’s important to constantly create positive and wholesome mind states, no matter how mundane the tasks you are performing. 

The lesson of the retreat “Cultivating the Fearless Mind” was clear: We can transform fear by facing the fear straight on, right at it, replacing fear with trust, with confidence in our practice. 

Sixty FCM members attending the retreat probed deeply into reflections about their fears and anxieties in the two-day online retreat last weekend led by Ken Lenington, Dharma leader from Asheville, NC (pictured below).

It was a hybrid of what retreat attendees have come to expect – a lingering and warm welcome of smiling faces on rectangular Zoom screens, noble silence, breaks for meals and mindful movements, chanting, Dharma talks and sharing, with much of it on the honor system at home. As FCM members have come to expect, the retreat left participants with practices to incorporate into their personal routines.

Ken based the content of the retreat on the Five Remembrances and the Three Fierce Mantras. They are shown below.

First, Ken asked retreat participants: What is the fear you want to work with today?

Second, What is the story underneath that fear? The second question disrobed the fear and left it standing bare and ephemeral – a mere image created by the mind.

Reflections on fear were deep, guided by many questions offered by Ken to help participants understand the nature of fear and the reasons it paralyzes us:

You have identified a fear you want to address. Where does this fear come from? Are there other feelings attached to it? Does it show up as anger? Loss? Sometimes anger is the first clue. Be with the fear and follow it. Where does it lead you? Can you find a source or sources? Be as open to the fear as you can. The closer you can get, the more you can see clearly where it comes from.

What desires may be present? What may be fueling the fear? Is there something you want to have happen? Is this fear realistic? Is there any real threat or danger here? If so, what’s the danger? When you look at the process that is labeled “this fear,” does it seem to be rational? Does it make sense based on your own experience?

Take a moment and explore whether this fear has any reality. Is there anything we can actually get hold of, other than passing thoughts that arise and leave? Does this fear exist anywhere outside my mind? Do you note any misperceptions – perhaps thinking something is permanent when it is not? Solid when it is not? Rational when it is not?

Ask yourselves: What am I resisting, even if you don’t feel you are resisting. What am I not accepting? What part of this event that is unfolding is unacceptable to me? What are the thoughts and stories that feed this fear, that perhaps help it grow? Identify them, give them names. Note if the fear is that you want things in your life to be different than they are. This might be a person, a thing or yourself.

Do I fear something that I hold dear will change or that I will lose it? Possessions? Job or income? Health? Love? Respect? Perhaps this fear is based on wanting to control what other people think of me, a fear of shame or embarrassment.

Looking as we have, can we see the truth of the situation a bit more clearly -- that all things in our lives are of the nature to change. Can we accept that we can’t control events or the other people in our lives, and when we try to control them, we become frustrated or angered by the responses that occur?

Are we beginning to clearly see that the grasping and clinging in our minds about how things ought to be causes suffering and unhappiness? Can we look and see that any sense of a solid and permanent self -- that which we call “me” -- is a fabrication in our minds, and nothing stays the same, even for a moment -- that we, too, are an appearance arising from the causes and conditions that make us appear us this way?

Look once again at the fear, the kernel at the center of it, the proposition around which it is formed, and ask, Is it true? “Is it true” is such a useful proposition. We’re not asking for an immediate answer. We want to relax into the question, into not knowing. It’s like a light. 

Find the question at the heart of your fear: Is it true that I have too much to do? Is it true that I need other people to think that I am competent? Is it true that I would be devastated if I made a mistake and didn’t get things just right? That I need to be able to control what other people say and do and what they think about me? That I couldn’t handle it if I lost my job or my income? That I couldn’t handle it if I became seriously ill? That I couldn’t handle losing the love of my partner? That I need to be loved? 

Who is it that thinks there is too much to do? Or thinks they couldn’t handle losing their job or income? Asking “Who is it?” is also shining a light. Relax into the question. If answer says, “It’s me,” relax into it. Who is it that needs to look competent? That needs to be liked? That needs to be loved? That doesn’t want things to change? 

Let go of any answers. 

Fears and anxieties that arise during this pandemic may seem different than ones we are used to, but they are not really different. The question ends up being the same as always: What should we do in the face of unexpected things? We watch. We watch the things that arise, the anger, the fears and anxieties. They change from day to day. You can make that your COVID-19 practice. Let yourself be there with them. 

Ask yourself: Are these fears irrational?

One practice is when we look at our thoughts, there’s nothing there to hold on to. Let them be and let them move on. It’s not what arises that’s the problem. It’s hooking onto them. Just say, oh, “Fearful thought,” and let them go. They will leave.

The practice is that all of this is a dance, awareness that is coming and going, and you can trust in that. You can trust in the nature of yourselves, in deepening awareness, just this deepening interacting stream of being, dancing together, a part of each other, always changing and interchanging. If you see it that way, then fear dissipates.

* * * * *

The Five Remembrances 

• I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
• I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.
• I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
• All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
• My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

~The Plum Village Chanting Book, Thich Nhat Hanh

Three Fierce Mantras

• Whatever has to happen, let it happen!
• Whatever the situation is, it’s fine!
• I don’t need anything whatsoever!

In a four-day retreat on Verses on Trust in Mind, Roshi Hogen Bays, in his return visit to Tampa last week, offered moving teachings about mind and body that began with the foundations of mindfulness and sometimes brought himself and members of his audience to tears.

Equally as broad as the beloved sutra were the applications of the teachings, ranging from how one navigates fear and sadness after becoming vulnerable, to the wonder of feeling one's own pulse throughout the body, to a glimmer of understanding of the oneness that encompasses all beings and everything in an unending universe.

This unknowable beauty is yours, claim it! exclaimed Roshi in a burst of emotion that was pure heart. The tears of the retreatants mingled with his tears of wonder.

The less sublime was beautiful, too. It ranged from the pure joy of our teacher Fred at sharing Dharma space with Roshi, his Dharma friend of 50 years, to retreat attendees sharing tasks so simple as sweeping the floor together in silence. 

Although Roshi would wag his finger and admonish, "No stories! And anything older than a nanosecond is a story!" here are some pictures to share the experience of oneness that came together at the retreat. After all, human beings seem to can't resist the shared delusion of telling (or depicting) stories!

The kitchen chop-and-slice team, from left, was Spence Davis of Tallahassee, Nina Hatton of Tallahassee, Chef Nancy Natilson of Tampa, Robbie Tisch of Bethesda, Maryland, and Carol Green of Naples.

Bryan Hindert of Tampa and Maria Sgambati of Tampa, residential caretaker, led weekend cooking duties. 

Lunch duty was tough, but somebody had to do it! Making sure there was no food waste was, from left, Scott Nissensohn of Tampa, Marilyn Warlick of Tampa, Mitch Schaefer of St. Petersburg and Dana Mooney of Temple Terrace.

Tidying up in the kitchen are Elena Rigg of Atlantic Beach, left, and Maria Sgambati of Tampa.

Ned Bellamy of Clearwater and Diana Fish of St. Petersburg inspect some forks with globs of peanut butter stuck to the tines. Dishwashers don't like peanut butter!

The peanut butter problem brings Bobb Hart of Tampa into selfless service. He makes sure that peanut butter doesn't get stuck on the forks.

Chris Witrak and Betsy Arizu, both of Tampa, sweep a gazillion crumbs from the dining room floor. Eating in silence can be messy.

Roshi checks out the kitchen, to Bryan Hindert's delight!

Tran Phung of Tampa, left, shares a laugh with Roshi and Fred in the dining room.

Nina Hatton of Tallahassee, foreground, and CiCi Claar of Tampa, right, get into the spirit of Diane Powell's Mindful Movements class.

The Trust in Mind Sutra so often chanted at FCM Sangha meetings is about having deep trust, right here, right now, Roshi Hogen Bays of Portland, Oregon, told attendees in a four-day retreat on the Verses on Trust in Mind held recently at the Tampa Practice Center. 

Roshi led extensive periods of sitting meditation and various practices of getting in touch with the body and physical sensations as a first step toward building the foundation for deep, calm stillness of mind. You can trust that the earth is supporting your body, always, he said. You can trust in your clear luminous mind to always support you, too, he added. 

Roshi is a Zen priest of the White Plum Sangha of Portland, a leader of the Zen Community of Oregon in Portland and co-abbot of Great Vow Zen Monastery in Clatskanie, Oregon. This was his second year of leading a retreat at FCM in Tampa by invitation of our teacher Fred, a Dharma brother of Roshi under Philip Kapleau at the Rochester Zen Center in the late 1960s. 

The evening before the retreat began, Fred and Roshi held a dialogue about their experiences for the benefit of the community.

"It all starts with our own body, knowing all sensations are just flow. It's the flow of energy, just the tingling vibration of life. We are nothing but experience," Roshi said.

His meditations delved into the direct experience of sensations within the body and the experience of being alive "from the inside out." These sensations take us back to a place of forgotten direct experience before we learned speech, before our Buddha minds were hidden beneath layers of adaptations, projections and illusions that now cause us to suffer. This body of sensation is pure awareness, Roshi said.

His guided meditations and Dharma talks were filled with pithy humor and wisdom:

• Look around. What do you see? Are your problems here? Is your rent here? Are your taxes? Not unless you bring them here. Bring only your presence. Right here. Right now.
• Always start meditation with the body. Anchor yourself with the breath or your hands/legs/torso, from the inside out. Become aware of the presence of the whole body with its tingling, pulsing, internal sounds, moisture. You may want to start with feeling the hands; they rest in tingling aliveness. 
• Stop arguing! About governance, the environment, with reality!
• Concerning the bodhisattva vow to save all beings: That's big. The good news? They don't need saving. They are perfect as they are! So relax.
• No stories! Body still. Mind still. Come from a place of stillness. If it's not happening right now, in this instant, it's a story. It happened in the past.
• Everybody is doing the very, very, very best they can. Things are perfect just as they are (They are arising from causes and conditions causing them to manifest as they are).
• What about the children who are imprisoned on the border? Each of us can do only what we can do, and so we pick what we can touch and we do that. Some of us can do something large; some of us can do something small. That is what the universe asks of us, that we decide what we can do, and we do it out of a calm, loving heart-mind.
• If fear arises from what we discover when we open ourselves up, the answer to our fear is to serve others.
• If we're not afraid of ourselves, we're not afraid of anything else.
• There are good times, there are bad times, but there is a place of trust that is always, always there. Meditation is resting in that foundation of trust. We can actually feel that knowing of love that is always there.