RESOURCES

My Experience at Empty Cloud - Learning Non-attachment to Knowledge

by FCM Member Coralee Hicks

Members of FCM have the extraordinary opportunity to experience a solitary retreat at beautiful Empty Cloud Cottage, a truly sacred, tranquil space in which to meditate and study at a deeper level under the skillful guidance of our teacher Fred. We thank FCM member Coralee Hicks for sharing her recent experience of solitary retreat at Empty Cloud Cottage.

A private retreat differs from a group meditative setting.  In a solo retreat student and teacher set the meditation schedule and choose the focus of the practice. Since solo practitioners have to rely on their own inspiration and self-discipline to practice, there is more opportunity for touching deeper reservoirs within themselves, strengths and abilities that they might have doubted lay within

I was very eager and a bit nervous when I arrived on Wednesday. Retreats have been an important part of my spiritual growth. My hearing disability makes group retreats difficult. Now I was in an environment that allowed me to hear Fred's instructions. I had planned to study the Diamond Sutra. I thought: one of the early sutras, why not begin at the the beginning. The actual beginning for me was very unexpected. I also brought two  issues that were thorns in my psyche. I hoped to get some relief from them. 

On the first night Fred asked me a series of questions. When I finally was able to say "I don't know" he laughed. This not knowing is an uncomfortable place for me. I believe(d) that knowledge was power. I have spent my professional life working in the area of information transmission. As Fred left me that evening one of the last things he said was "It is not about learning". 

Oh. If not about that.. then what is it about? 

So I sat, and I thought. And I sat and thought.. and then realized that some questions (like what is the final digit of Pi) don't have answers. I shared this insight the next day. I also realized that I was not ready to understand the Diamond Sutra. My expectation of a Professor/Student relationship was wrong. Perhaps not having expectations might be better? Fred then asked what is a thought? I don't know? I thought I knew... I wished I knew. I don't know. Thinking gets in the way of meditating... I am addicted to thinking?? Ouch. 

On the final day Fred suggested I relax. So I took a few naps. I wrapped myself in my blanket and pretended I was wrapping my self in the love of the Sangha. I sat and watched the wind move through the trees. I watched the light and shadows move across the image of the Buddha in my room. 

I realized the two thorny issues were now resolved. When I meditated I told my thoughts to keep Noble Silence. My thoughts laughed at me. I pictured my thoughts as bees and told them to go back to the hive (buzz off).

The closure session with Fred was comforting. It is okay to stop. It is okay to be human. It is okay to be Coralee. 

In the eight-week summer Intensive for 2015, participants had the opportunity to personalize and deepen their practice by freeing the mind from habits of body, speech and mind that sabotage well-being and our capacity to live in harmony with others. The eight weeks was divided into four two week sections that dealt with different areas of focused change: a personal habit or behavior, a personality trait, an afflictive mind state/ emotional state, and a relationship (family, friend, work colleague). We thank FCM member David Braasch for sharing his experience from the Intensive.  

One of my personality traits was to harshly judge past, present, future events, and  people. As part of my first intensive, I decided to focus on the present, and particularly people.

Here is a simple example: I am sitting at a red light, and there is a brand new shiny black Aston Martin right in front of me, also waiting.

My afflictive tendency was to start an immediate conversation about not only the Aston Martin, but the person in that Aston Martin. A typical dialog might go like this (this is actually a monolog): “That’s a super nice car. That guy must be really rich. I bet he cheated a lot of people to get that car. What a jerk. Probably cheats on his wife and doesn’t love his children. Bet he lives in a really nice house too, and probably has more than one house. Wish I had a car like that. Why don’t I have a car like that? Life is unfair that I am driving a Toyota Matrix with 170,000 miles on it. Pretty sure it’s going to need a new AC, new tires, and probably 1,000 other repairs soon. In fact, I am sure of it. Every time I go to the Toyota dealership I get screwed.”

As you can probably see, this is not a healthy way to approach every stop light, nor every situation we encounter in present reality. I knew I needed to change, and I also knew that I needed to use a strategy that was very real to me:  photography.

When I say photography, I am talking about actual cameras, not cell phone cameras. I am talking about viewfinders, 35 mm SLRs, and even plastic cameras. The point is this: it is important that I have the sense that I am holding a device close to my eye, and not away from me, as we do with our cell phones. I need to go into that small, honest world of the viewfinder and focus on what I am seeing, a choiceless awareness of what is in front of me. When I photograph, I first look at what I am seeing, bring the viewfinder to my eye, compose, take a deep breath, and then deliberately press the shutter button, and exhale. I decided that this is how I will approach the man in the Aston Martin.

First of all, I don’t know that it is actually a man driving the Aston Martin. It could be a woman, it could be a teenager, I simply don’t know. And I simply don’t know anything about that individual driving that car, sitting at a stoplight, just as I am, and many others.

What I do know is that I can look at this in a different way.  “I am sitting at a stoplight. There is a black Aston Martin in front of me. Let’s photograph this.” This is how the event unfolds.

First, breathe, and wait. Bring the camera’s eye up into the mind, compose the frame, make it a picture, take a breath, press the shutter, listen to the mirror click and close, and then caption it: “Black Aston Martin, sitting at a stoplight, waiting to make a left turn, in October afternoon sunlight.” Please note that I am not actually using a camera….

The effect this has had on me has been this: the negative reactivity is thwarted, and in most cases, stops right there at the end of the caption. And then I move on.

Sometimes a story of compassion and kindness evolves out of the image. Maybe the person is in that car is driving home to take someone to the hospital; maybe that person is suffering, and has no idea where he/she is going. That person is the same as me. Sometimes there is no story, and I just let the image fade away, or remain as it is.

The point is this: Sometimes there is still a reactive judgment, but now it is softer, more compassionate, and more realistic.  All the lens filters have been removed. Lately, there have been moments when it was just this: compose, breathe, click, and move on, because the light is green.

Bill Menza was my dear friend, counselor, and role model.  As a loving brother on the path, over the course of many years he touched me deeply through his persistent teachings about, and behavioral demonstrations  of love based on the Dharma. 

Bill’s unwavering reliance on the Dharma to encourage others to wake up and to love and serve others shone like a bright beam of light.  My growth and clear seeing was enhanced by his frequent reminder that taking refuge in the Three Jewels, the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha, is all that one needs for healing and transformation in this life.  

When encountering Bill, one was assured that through his teaching, his friendship, and other vehicles, one would receive life-affirming gifts.  He understood and taught that the connection, understanding, and acceptance that we all so long for always flows to us and through us when we share our love, compassion and generosity with all sentient beings.   

For years, Bill and approximately 15 other sangha brothers and sisters met Sunday mornings at a brother's farm near Tampa, FL,  to study the Dharma, enjoy the beautiful scenery, and pick oranges generously made available by the farm’s owners.  During these gatherings, one could count on Bill's deep, penetrating contributions during the discussion period.  We all marveled at his copious note-taking, assured that he would use them to share insights and wisdom for years.  Bill turned picking oranges into yet another loving exercise as he always picked an extra bag or two to take back to Sarasota to share with others.   

No matter the topic, the death of a loved one, racism, an inhumane prison system, the Holocaust, the Charleston, SC. massacre, Engaged Buddhism and the prerequisites for activism based on right view, the wounded child, his own “demons”, or anything I or anyone within the group became stuck on, Bill always found time to connect, to care, and to teach.  Moreover, no matter the location, The Tampa Practice Center, Blue Cliff Monastery, Plum Village, cyberspace,  or elsewhere, Bill made himself available for teaching and sharing  the Dharma.  While conversations with Bill were always welcomed and beneficial, for years Bill quietly and persistently created and nourished yet another vehicle, his wonderful Dharma poems.

On September 10, 2010, I received four poems from Bill which reminded me of my good fortune of having received many others from him over the years.   It was probably then that I first thought about how a book of his poetry could also benefit many others.  In early 2015, exactly two weeks after his cancer diagnosis, an email exchange between us resulted in the launching of a long-overdue book project.  

Deeply grateful for the years-long Dharma poetry teachings that he'd so generously shared with me, on March 17, 2015, I asked if he'd ever considered publishing some of his poems.  He responded with the subject line:  “Hi Sandy; am I dreaming!!!! hugs and poems”, and went on to write, "Your words are some very strong good medicine.  I am feeling real good now.  A book of poems so they can tell others about the Dharma has been my life-time dream.  Let's look into this.  Over the next few weeks I might not be able to help a lot with such a project.  Maybe especially when chemo  treatment starts.  But would do what I can.  Yes, please share my poems as you see fit and useful to spread the Dharma.  I will send you more poems to put to good Dharma use.” Shortly thereafter, Bill sent 176 poems.  I contacted Beth DeLap, owner of The Whole Salamander Publishing Cooperative, and Ken Lennington, MD, Beth’s husband and Bill's dear sangha brother.  Ken read and edited every poem, Beth agreed to involve her masterful editing and publishing skills, and the project took off.  

During the days that he was critically ill and his body deteriorated, Bill continued to send detailed, intimate, loving emails that shared information about his various ailments so that others might learn and possibly take steps to alleviate their own present or anticipated suffering.  Always giving.  He labeled his many doctors, other help providers, and his beloved wife Alica as true Bodhisattvas.  Always grateful.  As a participant on the phone sangha, Bill continued to teach and share until he was too weak to continue.  Always loving.

Ultimately, 210 poems were included in a proof copy of Dharma Rain Brings Flowers, that brother Bill was able to enjoy for two weeks before he left.  Writing  that the book was his baby, Bill was pleased that the words that he had so diligently and lovingly worked with for many years might, in fact, benefit others and help to foster understanding and compassion among sentient beings, and love of the Dharma.

Thank you dear friend Bill for being all that you were, and for having given all that you gave to your fellow brothers and sisters throughout the world.  You are the true embodiment of the concept and practice of Interbeing, and of the fact that we Inter-are.  May the Dharma Rain in your book water the seeds of wisdom and compassion for countless people from all walks of life and on all loving paths throughout the world.

With love, joy, and ease,

Sandy Garcia

Source of True Clarity

Thanks to Andrew Rock for sharing these recollections.

Last weekend 31 practitioners from many parts of Florida gathered for a three day silent retreat at the Franciscan Center on the beautiful Hillsborough River. Every retreat is wonderful in its own unique way, but FCM’s spring retreats are unusual in two respects: they are open to everyone, not just FCM members, and they are led by senior students, with Fred coming to give Dharma talks each morning.  Our retreat sangha included several people new to FCM, and in some cases new to the practice, as well as several FCM members who had not previously been on retreat with us. Nonetheless, the sangha quickly began flowing as one, silently and powerfully, with a deep tide of commitment, discipline, gratitude for the teachings and the good fortune that brought us this rare opportunity.  We practiced for ourselves and each other, to relieve our suffering and heal our delusional thinking and afflictive emotions, so that we may, each in our own way, help to relieve the suffering of others. 

The title of the retreat was “Dharma Medicine: The Three Fierce Mantras.”  As always, the real subject matter was to observe our minds, and to awaken to reality as it is, free of our dramas and obsessive thinking.  In his teachings on the Three Fierce Mantras, Fred showed us the unvarying law of karma, that all effects are the result of causes and that our dramas and afflictions are the result of our conditioning.  If we wish happiness for ourselves and others, we must cultivate the seeds of happiness, not those of suffering.  In his Dharma talks, Fred focused initially on the first two of the fierce mantras:

Whatever has to happen, let it happen!

Whatever the situation is, it’s fine!

Not necessarily fine in the sense of ideal, but fine because it could not be otherwise, and it is always workable if we accept reality as it comes. All is perfect because it is just as it must be, the inevitable effect of the causes and conditions that have occurred.  That is not to say that we don’t take action when appropriate, but we do so without the dramas of anger, or anxiety, or disbelief. On the last day Fred taught the third fierce mantra:

I really don’t need anything whatsoever (except the Dharma).

If we have a spiritual path and an aspiration to wake up, we find that we don’t need the world to conform to our wishes and desires, we can accept it as it is and find our happiness and equanimity in a mind that is open, free and unattached to any particular outcome.

Each day of retreat opened at dawn with the beautiful tone of the bell and the morning chant, calling us back to our true home, followed by sitting and walking meditation and a chanting service. In the afternoons and evenings Diane and Bryan led us in guided meditations to help us identify and examine our resistance to accepting reality as we find it, looking deeply into the causes and conditions that lead to the afflictive emotions and delusive thoughts that trouble us.  

We also practiced mindfulness of the body as a path of awareness and healing, with deep relaxation and mindful movements after lunch, as well walking meditation in the beautiful grounds of the Franciscan Center. Later we practiced deep sharing and deep listening in small groups guided by senior students. We enjoyed sharing healthy vegetarian meals in friendly silence, and night walks outdoors after evening meditation.

We ended the retreat with a closing circle, sharing the specific aspirations and insights we would bring home with us from the retreat.  The Three FIerce Mantras no longer seemed so strange or challenging to us, but rather a source of strength and simplicity.  We return to our lives empowered by the teachings, supported by the sangha and our teacher, grateful for our precious human lives, and determined to continue down the path of healing and awakening to reality as it is. In this way we will help into bring healing to this troubled world, and greater joy, ease and equanimity into our lives.

Thank you to Andrew Rock for sharing his experience of visiting the Genesis exhibition by Sebastiao Salgado. Viewing Salgado's photography is a profoundly beautiful way to practice mindfulness for this incredible planet that we are so fortunate to share.

----------------------

Yesterday Nancy and I were in Manhattan, at the International Center for Photography to see Genesis, the great photographer Sebastiao Salgado’s epic depiction of this beautiful and amazing world, and its myriad and wonderful creatures.

Salgado’s gorgeous black and white photographs reveal the almost incomprehensible sweep, diversity, power and stunning beauty of our planet, as if this was the dawn of creation. And in a sense it is, because for us this planet will never be more beautiful, more alive than it is right now.

The immense majesty of mountain ranges, glittering in sun-pierced storms, cloaked in snow and ribboned with shining rivers; wide untouched deserts of endless dunes; and baobab forests in New Guinea, ice sheets in the south Pacific islands, grand canyon walls and wind-carved monuments in the American southwest… All still there to be seen, and Salgado journeyed this intimate vastness with the eye and the skill of an accomplished artist, to see and share with us the glory of creation.

Nothing is sterile in this Genesis. Salgado shows us not only the beauty of rock and sky and water, but also herds of reindeer in the Brooks Range, colonies of penguins scattered over Antarctic ice, elephant families in the Okavango Delta, a heron in flight, a jaguar crouched at a river to drink, giant bats flying silhouetted under lacy leaves of tropical forest.

Despite the daily extinctions of species, despite the decimation of the teeming abundance of wildlife that covered the plains, filled the skies and animated the spreading forests not so many generations ago, the variety of living beings is still – still! – a source of delight and gratitude. Genesis reintroduces us to our biological brothers and sisters, so innocently reliant on us to protect their homes, and to enjoy and preserve the wonder of their existence.

As if the plants and animals were not amazing enough, the wonderful diversity of peoples on this earth is also revealed in this Genesis. I could hardly believe that in this day and age there are cultures still living so simply, so perfectly and uniquely adapted to such diverse environments. Salgado takes us along with the fur-clad Nenets in the Siberian arctic as they migrate north with their reindeer herds; climbs huge tropical trees to visit in forest tree houses; squats with the San bushmen of the Kalahari desert as they make music with gourds and twirl sticks to kindle fire; shows us the shining eyes of young Turkana women, wonderful black satin skin scarred by ritual beauty marks; endures the watchful stare of shaggy-haired tribesmen in the high mountain forest of Papua; relaxes at midday in shaded reed hammocks with Amazonian families.

There is no hubris in these pictures. “In Genesis, my camera allowed nature to speak to me. And it was my privilege to listen.” Salgado’s awe, delight and reverence for this sacred world shines through every photograph. He calls this collection his “love letter to the planet.” He and his partner Lelia and their team put in eight years of hard travel and deep, patient looking to reveal the glory of creation in these wonderful portraits.

What motivated their project was not only their desire to see and share the beauty and diversity of this amazing planet, but their knowledge that it is dying of our unbridled greed for more fossil fuels, more money, more meat, more power, more stuff. They hope that if we can truly see how wonderful is our earth and how beautiful and vulnerable our fellow creatures, our hearts will spill over with love, wonder and delight. And with that love will come the creative energy and determination to change our materialist ways and to halt the reckless rape of our planet and destruction of its creatures.

This marvelous exhibit exhorts us to slow down and appreciate this wonderful earth our home, and the web of life that holds and sustains us, so that this glorious genesis does not pass away and this planet become another lifeless hunk of dead rock in a cold universe.

If you can, please see these wonderful photographs. In person in New York through January 11, 2015,  

http://www.icp.org/museum/exhibitions/sebastiao-salgado-genesis    

collected in the Genesis book,

http://www.amazon.com/Sebasti%E2%88%9A%C2%A3o-Salgado-GENESIS-Lelia-Wanick/dp/3836538725

 or take a look online. 

https://www.google.com/search?q=genesis+salgado&client=safari&rls=en&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=LbtoVP-kA9apyATXtoK4Cg&ved=0CDIQsAQ&biw=1258&bih=563

(please copy and paste URLs if links don't work)

Then step out side, look up at the sky, and around you at the life that abounds everywhere, even in the city, even now. Watch a bird in flight, look in a baby’s face, take a minute to simply breathe and enjoy being alive. Let’s expand our awareness, realizing how we are a small part of genesis, interconnected and interdependent with our environment and all its inhabitants. This world is not ours to plunder and destroy, but rather to enjoy and protect as stewards for future generations. May this Genesis contribute to a new beginning for the way we live on this wonderful planet!

Andrew Rock

Brooklyn, NY

November 2014

Thank you to Andrew Rock for this very thoughtful sharing about vegetarianism and climate change.

I am very happy that our FCM community is having a discussion about vegetarianism! Compassion, loving kindness, and awakening are at the heart of our practice and our aspirations. Those of us who have taken Thich Nhat Hanh’s Five Mindfulness Trainings are committed not to kill… and not to let others kill.  

In his wonderful talk at our Tampa Practice Center on Sept. 15th, 2014 (a video is available on FCM’s website and on YouTube) Venerable Geshe-la Phelgye told us that if there is a hell on earth, it is the animal industry.  His campaign for vegetarianism began after he visited a slaughterhouse.  If we knew the hellish conditions under which the meat industry keeps food animals, and then slaughters and processes them, we would stop eating meat, not only for ethical and health reasons, but out of sheer revulsion and disgust.

Geshe-la told us that even though most of us haven’t seen these horrors with our own eyes, and may not know about them, “it exists for us consumers; they grow as we demand.” We may not do the killing, but we make others kill for us.  What he saw at the slaughterhouse opened his eyes and changed his life.  He made the commitment to be vegetarian, and from that moment he felt no cravings for meat and had no health issues from its absence. He began his campaign within the Tibetan Buddhist community and around the world for vegetarianism.

My wife Nancy and I both stopped eating meat in the early 1970s.  Nancy did it in the experimental spirit of the era, and Andrew for a mix of health, environmental and ethical reasons.  At first I still ate chicken, then I happened to visit a relatively small chicken farming operation, and that was that for eating any more chicken. We continued eating fish and seafood until three years ago, when Nancy went on a solo retreat under our teacher Fred’s guidance at Empty Cloud Cottage. Even though Nancy had loved eating fish, she came back with the firm intention not to eat other living beings, and that was the end of our eating fish and seafood.  We haven’t missed them.

We are both very healthy and we have lots of energy for practice, for work, for friends and community, and for enjoying our stay on this beautiful planet filled with wonders.  We love being vegetarians, not just for reasons of principle, but because vegetables and fruits are so enjoyable to grow and harvest and prepare, and so delicious to eat!  

It is a myth that vegetarianism means a sacrifice of taste and enjoyment. No, quite the opposite! During my short transition period from being a meat eater, I quickly realized that, for me, fruits & veggies were much tastier, more varied, more colorful and more fun than meat. We need to experiment for ourselves, to make a gradual transition if necessary, as Geshe-la said, and to learn to prepare varied and tasty vegetarian meals, and we’ll see how satisfying it is on every level.  

It is wonderful that FCM and our Mindfulness Institute are offering vegetarian meals and classes on vegetarian cooking. We need to do more of this, to share the knowledge, the confidence and the enjoyment of a vegetarian lifestyle.

There is one more dimension of this discussion I’d like to address. As practitioners of the Dharma, we are not only committed to compassion, to non-killing and to alleviate suffering, we are committed to awakening.  And when we open our eyes to what is happening around us, what do we see?  

We see that we are in a time of incredibly rapid mass extinctions, and of accelerating destruction of the biosphere that supports all life on this planet. And we see that we humans, individually and collectively, are the cause. 

The industrial meat and fishing industries are among the top drivers of global warming, climate change and environmental degradation. Vast amounts of land, fossil fuels, money, human effort and other resources go into raising, feeding, slaughtering and distributing “meat products.”  (How appalling that we speak of “harvesting” and “processing” our fellow beings!) The pollution created is immense. The inefficiency of industrial meat and fish production as a way to generate calories is immense… But little understood: we don’t want to know!

We can feed everyone from the bounty of a healthy earth. But not if we continue to eat meat, and if by our example we encourage others to continue down this dead-end road.  As North Americans, we set the standards, the aspirations for the developing world. As OI, we can set the example of moving away from consumption of animals and fish.  Better than anyone, we understand our interbeing.

Yesterday Nancy and I saw the film “Revolution,” made by Rob Stewart, a young Canadian marine biologist turned climate change campaigner. It focuses on the dying oceans (“the lungs of the planet”) and the huge decline in corals, fish, and phytoplankton from acidification caused by global warming and from industrial scale fishing. I wept at footage showing hundreds and thousands of sharks lying dead on a dock (killed for shark fin soup) and of mutilated tuna and swordfish corpses dumped out of trucks on to concrete for processing, of massive nets and containers crammed full of dead and dying fish, of the billions of pounds of “by-catch” discarded, wasted, killed for no reason but our greed for money, greed for flesh. We are committing both murder and suicide, and it must not continue!

How wonderful that our teachers are showing us the way, and encouraging this discussion of a vegetarian lifestyle!  How wonderful that our eyes are opening!  How wonderful that we have the opportunity and the support to change!  

If not us, then who? If not now, then when? Let’s do this, together as a community.

Gratefully, 

Andrew Rock

September, 2014

We are very grateful for this deep sharing by FCM member Tammy Klein, based on her recent experience in FCM's Summer Intensive.

When I'm restless, I'm not accepting things as they are. I'm not letting life unfold - I want to control life! I realize the hilarity and futility in that. Life is going to do what it's going to do.  I need to notice when the restlessness (or other hindrance) happens, investigate what's happening and let go. Breathing deeply in the moment and "breathing into" the restlessness helps tremendously.  It passes! Everything passes like clouds so I don't have to be afraid of that drowning feeling I get.

I should just welcome these hindrances because they're pointers - "Oh, I guess I need to let go and let this pass through me." "Oh, there I go again getting uptight because the plan changed." Now I can begin to identify restlessness and aversion as it's happening and understand why it's happening, and more often before I inflict suffering on others (and myself).  I am increasingly able to stop.

There's no security in hanging on tightly to life and trying to make it run my way. 

I can notice my thoughts and feelings and how they can trigger a hindrance.  But there's no substance to them - they're just like puffy clouds in the sky. I can notice them, and let them pass through without making a story, justification, rationalization, etc,

My "drowning" feelings of restlessness are the same in feeling as aversion. They're overwhelming.  (First I get restless and then I get mad when things don't go my way according to my plan!). They both feel the same in my body, and I can feel my body for clues when I start to cling or tighten up in the chest and gut.

There are no problems!

I can always go back to my breathing as an entry to being.  I need to practice deep breathing and build my muscles since I tend to breathe shallowly.

Being is all around me, and I can just watch it.  And I can tune into that "hum" in the background of life. There is ease all around me.

It's ok to do one thing at a time - like brush my teeth - and do things slowly.

I want to spend more of my time cultivating my good seeds rather than my issues. It seems for me like a process of "noticing, now let it go or pass through, notice, pass through..."

If I have trouble sitting, I can switch up my walking meditation and do that first. But I notice I haven't had that issue of late. I think it's because I noticed, felt it and let it go.

As much as I "honor" my hindrances by working with them and focusing on them, I can also "honor" my good qualities such as my investigative abilities and my ability to be honest with myself and face things as they are.

While I'm not ready for the monastery, I'm clearly on a spiritual path leading to some place great. I'm happy about that!

Tammy Klein

In this two-part article, FCM Member Andrew Rock shares wisdom on how we can live happier and healthier (for ourselves and others) lives by consuming more mindfully.

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION

Part 1: Mindful Eating & Mindful Gifting

Many of us feel anxious as the holiday season approaches..  And many of us begin the new year feeling that we over-did it during the holidays.  Ate too much, drank too much, bought too much, received too much, and, afterwards, threw away too much uneaten food, too much gift-wrapping, too many unwanted presents.  We resolve to go on a diet, do our gift shopping earlier and more thoughtfully next time, and be more loving and patient with our difficult family members the next time around.

Our mass consumer culture encourages the opposite of mindful consumption.  Mindless consumption, conspicuous consumption, and, as I write this on “Black Friday,” frenzied consumption. We know that mindless over-consumption is not nhealthy for us individually, for our loved ones, for our society or for our planet and its myriad living beings. We can’t afford it, our families can’t afford it and our planet can’t afford it. But we get caught up in habit, in what we think are the expectations of our loved ones, and in the constant cues to buy, buy, buy.

So as December looms, with the new year close behind, let’s take a few minutes to reflect on each of the following questions, and jot down a short response:

• What are some challenges for me regarding consumption of food?
• What are some challenges for me regarding the gifts I give or the gifts I receive?
• What are some challenges for me regarding my consumption of our world’s resources?

At the end of this article we will revisit our challenges to see how increased mindfulness can help us.

Thich Nhat Hanh tells us that what we consume creates our inner environment, physically, mentally and emotionally. The consumption of toxic items waters our negative seeds of anger, fear and desire.  He encourages us to “consume in such a way that health, happiness and a future are possible.”  At the recent retreat at Magnolia Grove Monastery in Mississippi, Thay told us that “if we practice mindful consumption, we will be able to heal ourselves, heal our society and heal our planet.”

Many of the unhealthy foods and unnecessary things that are dangled for us contain a hidden hook buried within the appetizing bait. The hook of physical disease, mental unease and environmental pollution and degradation. If we look deeply, we can see the hook inside the bait, and we realize that we don’t want to bite that hook! The fleeting pleasure promised by the bait just isn’t worth it! A moment of awareness and insight can result in a permanent change in the choices we make.

This subject is very near to my heart.  Long before I knew about the “M-word” I’ve been on a quest to bring awareness to my choices and to live simply. As a teenager I was fortunate to live overseas in a country where fruits and vegetables were plentiful and fresh, and where there was no television to amp up our supposed needs and wants. When I returned to the U.S. in my twenties, I lived without TV and kept my distance from pop culture, which over-stimulates us in order to hook us, reel us in and sell, sell, sell. I wanted to be a free human being on this earth, not a “consumer” driven by advertising and conditioning like a laboratory rat in a cage. 

I became more-or-less vegetarian since 1972, and soon after spent a few years as an organic farmer and distributor of organic fruits and veges.   But it wasn’t until many years later, as a member of Sweetwater Organic Community Farm in Tampa, that I learned what organic really means: nothing wasted.  Nature recycles everything.

Mindful Eating

The name of the growing Slow Food movement says it all. We can slow down a bit, and see our food and our hunger as they really are. We can be mindful not only when we eat, but when we plan meals, when we shop, when we cook and when we digest our food after we’ve eaten.  This is not about taking the pleasure out of eating; rather, it’s about experiencing a true enjoyment of healthy, nourishing food.  Which, by the way, is usually tastier and much more pleasing than processed fast foods.

So here are ten tips, things to enhance mindfulness about our consumption of food:

1. Food doesn’t come from the supermarket!

Sweetwater Organic Farm runs farm tours for schoolchildren, who visit the fields, see how the veges grow, and pull up a carrot or harvest a tomato, wash it & enjoy a tasty snack. One day a youngster asked: “How come you bought these carrots at the supermarket and stuck them out here in the dirt?”  We laugh, but if you ask where our dinner comes from, we’ll usually name the store where we bought it. Our awareness of the “provenance” of our food is very limited: where it was grown or raised, how it was processed and packaged, how it got to the store and on to our plates. Is it local and in season, or from another region or hemisphere? Grown sustainably or by industrial agriculture? Fresh and ripe, or bred for its shelf life and preserved by refrigeration and chemicals? By looking more deeply into the roots and sources of our food we can enhance our mindfulness and make better choices.

2. Is it even food?

Much of our food is processed. Try reading the food labels, not just for the amounts of fat and carbohydrates, but for the ingredients. Nutritionists and food activists have worked long and hard to require food labeling so that we are not totally at the mercy of the food industry. It’s amazing how many chemicals are in everything but fresh fruits and veges – and even there most are grown with chemical fertilizers, weeded with chemical herbicides and coated with chemical pesticides, all leaving some residue. Chemical preservatives, flavorings and coloring agents are the norm. And high fructose corn syrup is in everything, in surprisingly large quantities (the substances in our food are listed in decreasing order on the label; those listed first are there in the largest amounts).

The food writer Michael Pollan (“Omnivore’s Dilemma”; “Cooked”), when asked what is safe and healthy for people to eat, replied: “Eat things your grandmother would have recognized as food.” (Since the processed food revolution began in the 1950s, some of us will need to go back to our great-grandmothers). If it isn’t food, don’t eat it. It always seemed weird and dangerous to me to put a bunch of unnatural chemicals in my body, and I’ve tried to avoid it all my life, by steering clear of processed foods and looking for those without added chemicals. I haven’t looked for studies linking cancer and other diseases with chemicals in food, but common sense tells me to be mindful and vigilant about putting industrial chemicals in my body.

3. Listen to your body.

If we are attentive to our bodies, they will let us know if they are hungry or full, happy or unhappy with what we have eaten. Of course, we must learn to tune out the mental static of our habitual cravings for junk food and comfort food. 

At FCM we are training to be mindful of the body in the body. As we learn to put our attention on our breathing, on the tensed or relaxed feel of our muscles and joints, so too we can be more aware of our digestive organs and metabolism. Are we really that hungry when we sit down to pack away a heavy meal, or do we still feel full from the last meal? When we eat, we can check in with our bodies to know when we have had enough. Another food writer described an interview with an old and very healthy woman in the Philippines, a country where there is an unusually high concentration of people who live to a ripe old age.  The old woman said that she and her family and friends follow the “80% rule”: they stop eating when they feel about 80% full, because by the time everything they have eaten is registered by the body, they’ve already had too much!

If we pay attention, our bodies will also let us know whether the food and drink we have consumed feels good to the body. Does it “sit well” with us after we have eaten? Does indigestion or discomfort keep us from a good night’s sleep, or weigh us down as we move about our day? How do we feel “the morning after”? Again, if we listen, our bodies can tell us what they want and need, much like a pregnant woman who craves certain foods. It might be a salad, it might be a starch or protein, or it might simply be resting from eating for a while to digest what we have already consumed. The body can tell us what it needs, and we would be wise to listen.

4. Slow down and pay attention!

Slow down when you eat! Enjoy this bite, this plate, this meal, not the next one.  So often we are already planning the next forkful even as we are putting this one in our mouths! Getting ready to help ourselves to seconds before the first plate is finished, so that we are not enjoying the food still on the plate in front of us, much less waiting to see if we really are still hungry once we finish that first plate. When we are on silent retreat, we find that our food is particularly pleasing and that we don’t eat as much as usual.  Why?  Because we are practicing mindfulness of our food, and we are not distracted from our enjoyment of each morsel by talking or by mental chatter.  It helps that we also practice appreciation of our food, and gratitude for the many hands and energies that went into raising it and bringing it to our plates for our enjoyment and nourishment.

I’m on an anti-grabity campaign.” That’s right: “grabity,” not “gravity.”  Notice how often we talk about “grabbing a bite,” or invite our friends to “grab lunch” with us. Food isn’t for grabbing – it’s for sharing, savoring and then calmly digesting. Grabbing food is the opposite of mindful eating.  “Grab” is just a word, but the words we use condition the way we think and the way we act.  We can watch for each time that we or our friends talk about grabbing something to eat or drink, and we can use that heightened awareness as a bell of mindfulness.

We think we don’t have enough time to eat mindfully and well, but we do.  How often do we grab our fast foods and then sit and watch TV?  Or check our cell phones for messages for the umpteenth time?  Or use the time we think we’ve saved to rush out and buy something? Or grab a meal and get back to work; might we not work smarter, calmer, better, after we take the time to enjoy our food and nourish ourselves?  Really, what better way to use our time than to eat good food and share it with friends or family, or savor it by ourselves, mindfully enjoying each bite and knowing we are doing something good for ourselves?

5. You don’t have to clean your plate!

Nor does your child or grandchild.  How much misery has this misconception caused, how many family fights and lifelong traumas?  It is not wasteful to stop eating once you’ve had enough. 

Sure, it’s better not to take more food than we plan to eat, but sometimes we just don’t know, and sometimes the food is too tempting, so we take too much. Or we want to be generous, so we serve too much to those we are feeding.  If we really don’t want to waste food, we can manage our shopping and meal planning better, or dish up less.  But don’t force your body - or your child’s body - to force down more food than it wants, or than it can healthily digest.

We’ll look at the other five tips for mindful eating in Part 2 of this article next week, as well as the topic of mindfulness of the environmental impact of our consumption.  But now, before the holiday shopping season is almost over, let’s talk about mindful gifting.

Mindful Gifting

Presents … and Presence

Let’s start by asking ourselves a few questions.  Why do we give gifts?  What are the most meaningful gifts we give, and receive?  What really means the most to us over the holiday season?

Most likely, your answers have to do with letting our family and friends know that we love them, that we care about them, that we think about them, and that we want to do something special for them.  We tell our children, when they worry about what they’ll get us for Christmas or Hanukkah, “Please don’t think you need to spend a lot of money on us.  It’s the thought and the love that counts.”  And that’s pretty true across the board for most of our relationships.

Yes, there are people who do need material things: young people setting up their households, those who can’t afford to buy themselves those few simple things that would bring extra joy, and the growing number of Americans who can’t afford the bare necessities : a roof over their heads, adequate clothing and enough to eat.  These folks do need our support, and the holiday season is a particularly good time to practice generosity for those in need.

But when you get right down to it, so many of our holiday gifts amount to more stuff for people who already have too much.  The new stuff may be bigger, or newer, or have more capabilities than the old stuff, but is it really necessary and does it lead to more than a brief gratification of our materialist desires?  And in many cases we spend more than we can afford, and those to whom we give feel that they must us give back gifts that are equally expensive, more than they can afford or we even want, and we get caught up in an escalating arms race of presents.

Thich Nhat Hanh tells us that the greatest gift we can give to anyone is our presence.  We all want to be loved, and we want to be understood.  When we suffer, we want someone to listen deeply, and when we are happy, we want someone to share our joy.  We know that caring for others brings us deep and lasting happiness, and we also know how many of our family and friends are stressed, lonely, angry or depressed, feelings which are often exacerbated during the holiday season. 

How many times have we gotten together with our loved ones at Christmas, and after the brief frenzy of gift-giving and opening has subsided, and too much food and drink has quickly been consumed, we lapse into an uneasy silence or resume feuds and arguments from last year’s holiday get togethers?  We feel that we have been generous because we’ve given and received lots of presents, but have we really shared our presence with our loved ones?  Have we really been there for one another? Do we all go away from the holiday celebrations feeling loved and understood?  Perhaps we can focus more on being present for one another, and less on giving presents to one another.  Instead of sending the children off to watch Disney movies after dinner, while the men watch football and the women gather in the kitchen - pardon the stereotypes, but they still see to apply - how about we let the electronic screens and devices rest, and we talk.  Even better, how about we listen deeply, and when we do speak, it is in such a way that our loved ones feel that they have been heard, understood and supported? 

Some Alternative gifting strategies:

1. Donations to favorite charities and organizations

Instead of buying more stuff, we can make charitable donations to our family and friends’ favorite “causes.” If we don’t already know the kinds of organizations and initiatives they would like to support, we can ask them.  In and of itself, this lets them know we are interested in them, and want to know them better.  It gives us something meaningful to talk about on an ongoing basis, and takes us out of ourselves.

For our part, we can tell those who normally give us holiday gifts that this year, if they intend to get us something, would they kindly make a donation to …(you can have fun filling in the blank). You might choose an organization that provides food for the homeless and undernourished, or a civil rights organization, or disaster relief for the Philippines or another afflicted area, an environmental group or a religious or community organization like FCM.  There is no need for the giver to say or for the receiver to know how much was given, so the “gift arms race” can be ended.  But whatever the amount, such a gift is something that you and your generous friends can both feel good about, and know that their generosity doesn’t translate into just more stuff the day after the holiday is over, more wrapping paper and cardboard boxes to fill the overflowing garbage containers after the holidays are over.

2. Give consumables or other small everyday items

A jar of jam or some other food that you know your family member likes, or something you really enjoy and want to share with your friend.  These are thoughtful, and will not go to waste If the recipients don’t like it, they can easily “regift” to someone else.

As much as I hated being given clothes for presents as a boy, now I love it if my wife gives me a pair or two of socks, or boxer shorts to replace my worn out ones. It’s funny how sometimes we don’t lack for the big things, but we might need and really appreciate the small day to day items that we often do not buy for ourselves.

3. Accumulate small personalized gifts through the year

My wife Nancy is wonderful at this.  She travels a lot, and she likes to shop.  Not necessarily to buy, but to look and see what’s there.  And she keeps her many friends and family members in mind, so when she sees something that she thinks will appeal to a particular person, she buys it, though she might hold it until the holidays or a birthday rolls around.  It might be a book someone would like, or a craft item from another country that she thinks will appeal, or a household knickknack like a bowl with a cat on it for someone who loves cats, or a special garlic press for someone who uses garlic.  When she gives presents like this, not only does the recipient usually enjoy the item, but she is warmed by knowing that Nancy was thinking about her as she went about her travels, not just at Christmas time but as she went about her everyday life. 

4. Gift certificates or money

Nancy and I used to think that giving money was somehow not in good taste, but we’ve come around on that.  A check or a bit of cash can be very welcome to help enliven a holiday for someone who is on a tight budget, or to tuck away until they have time to go out and have some fun picking something out for themselves.  If you know their tastes and interests, a gift certificate to a favorite store or online service allows them to pick out something they really want or need.

 

You get the idea.  Gifts can be modest, yet if they are personal and there is some thought behind them, those gifts can be very enjoyable and let our dear ones know that we care.  It’s the caring, not the stuff, that is the real point.  Above all, we can give the gift of our true and focused presence to our loved ones.  Telling people we love them on a gift card that accompanies a big fancily-wrapped gift is nice and well-intentioned, but the gift of being there for someone, in the happy times and the hard ones, is the gift that keeps giving.

Part 2:  Mindful Eating (continued)

Thich Nhat Hanh tells us that “if we practice mindful consumption, we will be able to heal ourselves, heal our society and heal our planet.”  In Part 1 of this article we asked ourselves about our challenges regarding mindful consumption of food, and about mindful gifts.  We talked about why we give gifts – to show our love and to do something special for our family and friends – and about how our true presence may be more deeply meaningful to our loved ones than our material presents.

We also looked at the first five of ten “tips” that may help us with mindful eating:  (1) Food doesn’t come from the supermarket! (2) Is what we are about to buy and eat really food? (3) Listen to your body.   (4) Slow down and pay attention!  (5) You don’t have to clean your plate!

Now, many of us are preparing for the Christmas and New Year holidays, a time of heightened emotions, material over-abundance (for many but not for all in our society), and – let’s be honest – over-eating and over-drinking, followed by remorse and resolutions to handle it all better next time round.  The premise of this article is that with greater mindfulness we can handle it better this time round.  In the present moment – which is all that there ever is for us - we can bring a clearer awareness to our actions of body, speech and mind so that we can make choices about our consumption that are more in line with our deeper aspirations for health and happiness.

Here are the remaining five suggestions for mindful consumption of food and drink:

6. Eating doesn’t end after the last bite

After we have swallowed our last mouthful and left the table, our minds may move on to the next activity, but our bodies know that their part has really just begun.  Digestion takes time and energy, especially after we have eaten rich or heavy foods, and if we have mixed together a lot of different kinds of food and drink.  Our appetite has been satisfied, but now our bodies must deal with what we’ve consumed!

We eat for enjoyment – nature has designed us to be motivated to eat – but most of all we eat for nourishment.  As the saying goes, “we are what we eat” – do we really want to be a cheeseburger? - and our energy level is determined in part by how effectively we convert food energy into body energy.  Some foods, like meats, fried food and dense combinations of fats, processed starch and sugars, may take more energy from the body to attempt to digest than they provide to the body!  They may have good “mouth-feel,” but be a net loss to our metabolisms.

Obviously over-eating causes indigestion and discomfort, but so can poor food combinations.  I’m not a nutritionist, but it seems only common sense that if we mix together too many foods that are acid and alkaline, hot and cold, solids and liquids we may make it difficult for our digestive systems to do their work properly.  And in fact naturopaths have suggested for many years that poor eating habits create a toxic internal environment that makes us prone to colds and diseases.

If, as we plan and consume our meals and snacks, we are mindful that eating doesn’t end after the last bite, we can allow our bodies to digest our food easily, as designed, and help to keep ourselves and those we feed nourished and happy.

7. Every day is a special occasion!

Truly it is, another 24 hours to be alive and awake on this amazing planet!  So often, though, this expression is used like a ritual incantation to allow us to overeat and to overdose on particularly sweet and rich foods, and often on alcohol too.  Then after the special occasion is over, we try to diet and vow to do better hereafter… until the next special occasion turns up.  That’s a stressful roller coaster to be on, when in reality every day really is special, and we want to feel good every day. It’s an unhealthy cycle for our metabolisms, which find it much easier to settle into a regular routine, so everything can stabilize, rather than lurching between extremes of binging and fasting without a chance to recover.

Holidays should really be a time to treat our bodies especially well, and to encourage – by example – our loved ones to do the same.  We really do all want to be as healthy as we can, for many more special occasions to come.  

8.  Sugar does not = love

We think we are being kind to our family and friends when we provide them with heavy, rich food, or, as is often the case, with very good food but too much of it.  And in particular, we think we are being “sweet” to ourselves and our guests when we provide them with lots of sugar.  Especially on birthdays and throughout the holiday season.

Our comfort foods are often sugar-based.  No doubt we associate them with happy interludes in our childhoods.  I can remember many depressive binges on ice cream or chocolate or donuts, or some combination thereof.  Fun for a very brief time, then uncomfortable for a much longer time.  Is that really the best we can for do for ourselves when we what want is to feel “comforted”?  Maybe if we called them “discomfort foods” it would help us be more mindful the next time our strong attachment to sweets kicks in. 

Then there are those of us who are mindful of our own consumption, so we don’t eat the cake and ice cream and so on ourselves, but we urge them on our family and guests because we want them to have what they like.  That’s totally understandable, but more applied mindfulness may lead us to realize that the most loving thing we can do is to provide healthy food, and to use our own understanding and example to support and encourage our loved ones to be mindful of what they consume.  

This is not to suggest that we become food Nazis about sugar.  I love chocolate, and nothing quite does it for me like a pistachio ice cream cone on a hot summer afternoon. As a friend of mine likes to say, quoting Oscar Wilde: “Moderation in all things, including moderation.”  A little sugar now and then, sure. Too much sugar on a regular basis, bad news for our metabolism, our bodies and our emotions.

9.  Excessive drinking does not = fun

“Drinking to excess equals fun” is another equation that needs to be rewritten.  In the Five Mindfulness Trainings, Thich Nhat Hanh encourages us not to use alcohol, drugs or other products which contain toxins.  Some practitioners totally refrain from drinking alcohol at all, and others may enjoy the occasional glass of wine or beer, but our aspiration and our practice is not to cloud our minds and damage our bodies by drinking too much.  

We have been conditioned to believe that intoxication is fun, and that feeling bad during and after is just part of this enjoyable experience.  Many of our friends and family are overdoing it, especially over the holidays, and if we don’t use mindfulness to create an opportunity to choose moderation or abstinence, we tend to go along with the crowd.  We needn’t make a big point of not drinking or of drinking moderately, we simply stop after we have enjoyed one or two drinks and switch to water, tea or juice.

The unexamined assumption behind drinking for fun is that we need to be intoxicated to really enjoy ourselves.  That we have to escape from reality into a happier state of mind.  It is the antithesis of our mindfulness practice, which seeks to wake up to reality as it is, knowing that true happiness is always available to us in the present moment if we are alive to that moment.  Seeking escape just perpetuates our suffering, and the things we think, say and do when we are drunk only compound our problems.  As with over-eating, we can do ourselves and our friends and loved ones a favor by opening up alternatives.  “Hey, I’m having a wonderful time just being here with you, and I don’t need to become intoxicated to enjoy our time together.”

10.  Adopting a vegetarian diet is not a sacrifice, it’s a pleasure!

Our teacher Fred has encouraged us to strongly consider adopting a vegetarian diet - please read his wonderful Nov. 2012 letter “On Eating Meat” in the Resources section of the FCM website.

Eating a vegetarian diet is delicious, varied and satisfying.  Fruits and vegetables are much tastier than meat by, especially when they are fresh.  You’ll enjoy it, and your friends will enjoy it too when they visit you.  Most good restaurants have tasty and satisfying vegetarian appetizers and salads and entrees, and even those that don’t have vegetarian entrees have vegetable side dishes that can be put together for a delicious dinner.  Same thing at family holiday dinners: without making any fuss about it you can pass on the meat and have a great meal of side dishes.

Certainly, our bodies and our cooking techniques need time to adjust, and it isn’t necessary to go “cold turkey” on meat all at once.  Listen to your body (see Tip 3 from Part One of this article) and see if you feel a lack of energy.  On the other hand, you may quickly find that an all or mostly vegetarian diet is very satisfying from the get-go, that you feel lighter and more energetic, and that you miss ‘meat and potatoes” meals much less than you expected.  Once you start to experience the alternatives, which are endless, the traditional meal of meat, starch and a side of overcooked vegetables begins to seem boring and rather unappetizing.  

Yes, vegetarian cuisine may require more time for food preparation, but it’s enjoyable and rewarding.  Many of us say we don’t have time to make vegetarian meals or snacks, but then we sit down and watch TV for hours while we eat our fast food!

We all know the primary reasons for not eating meat, and they are all true.  It’s not good for our health, it’s not good for the animals and it’s not good for the environment. 

When humans were living off the land and doing very hard physical labor in adverse conditions, we may have needed the concentrated fats and proteins meat could provide, but today we live pretty sedentary lives and we do better with lighter foods and less of them.  Further, the meat we are sold today was generally raised on inferior foods laced with antibiotics and chemicals - you are what what you eat has eaten - in unsanitary and incredibly inhumane conditions.  It is almost certainly true that if we knew more about how the animals that we eat were raised and treated, most of us would stop eating meat on the spot.

The meat industry is a major cause of environmental problems. The land used for grazing livestock and growing animal feed takes about up 30% of the earth’s entire land mass, land that is not available for more efficient forms of agriculture.  Animal agriculture is also a significant contributor to the greenhouse gases causing global warming.

I want to make one final and very important point about being vegetarian, and about all the mindful food tips discussed in this article:  Eating well and healthily is not a sacrifice, it is a pleasure! As long as we have the attitude that “I know I should eat better but I want to enjoy my food,” we won’t change, and why should we?  The reality for me and for many millions of others is that good food is more fun to purchase and prepare, more appetizing on the plate, tastier and more interesting to eat, and easier to digest.  We feel better nourished, more energized and happier. 

Mindful eating is a delight, and I wish you all a mindful “bon appetit” over the holidays and into the new year.